Announcing the oPhone
In America we are rapidly crashing into the abyss. There are at least 50 million Americans that don't have affordable cell phones available to them. The Administration today announced a new program to create or save over 300,00 jobs in the next 10 years. The new program will create an affordable alternative to the iPhone (and all other cell phones) and subsidize it with a single payer system.
The new oPhone has initially been announced with the capability to make calls, send/receive text messages, supports MMS, has a 5MP camera with video, plays music and videos and can function as an alarm clock. It will sport a touch screen, dual headphone jacks, WiFi, and Bluetooth. All of these features will be available on launch day. The administration, when asked, did admit that certain features may be turned off or removed entirely if costs become prohibitive but didn't think that would ever happen.
The new oPhone will be made using green technologies. While it's 5 minutes talk time and 15 minutes of standby might seem small the phone comes standard with a solar charger which can completely re-charge the battery with 4 hours of full sunshine. An optional propeller power attachment can be used to recharge the battery and is most efficient at doing so when the user is running faster than 10mph. The oPhone also comes with a wall charger, but to encourage use of the green recharge options the wall charger has been designed to take over 11 hours to recharge the battery.
Some unpatriotic cell carriers are objecting to the announcement of a government phone but are expected initially to attempt to compete with the oPhone. The Administration felt that it was important to create it's own cell phone now to directly compete with the private sector to keep the private sector honest. It's been long felt that cell phone carriers are generating great profits benefiting their shareholders more than the general public and the new oPhone would make cell phone use “more fair”.
posted by John D. @ 11:03 AM
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